As I have stated before, my kids have always gone to bed well. I never rocked or fed them to sleep. Sometimes they talk, play or read in bed but bed time is bed time!
For the past several years, Janie has gone through spurts of wanting someone to lay with her or rub her back or hold her and on and on. Lately, we think she has been going through some anxiety issues maybe due to the pressure of gymnastics or maybe not. Maybe it is because I work and am not here with her each morning (so she tells me) Whatever the case, it is very trying. I am bouncing back and forth between saying to myself "she is only going to be young for a short period so eat it up while you can" and "I need my time". Truth is, I need time to myself at the end of every day. Call me selfish because I kind of think I am. I am a better mother and much more patient when I have some down time. Lately, Janie is up until we are all in bed. She still goes down at 9p but she spends 2+ hours fretting over when I am coming to bed and when I can be here again in the morning.
I love my girl so much and snuggle her tons. I tell her every day how proud I am of her. I give her responsibility and have expectations but I don't pressure. I tell her that once gymnastics is no longer fun, we are done. Truth be told, I want her to grow up knowing how much I loved and supported her. I want her to remember us playing and reading and swimming and laughing. I don't want to screw her up but it scares me. Am I too selfish?
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